2019-10-30 Starting Over: The Sorry Cycle




  1. What stood out to you tonight in the message? Why do you think that was especially a highlight for you?
  2. Was there ever a time in your life when you simply wanted a do-over? Whether a silly thing or not, you felt like your life was marked by that event. What was it? Share a story if you are willing.
  3. What do you think of the three categories of regrets (Action “I blew it!”, Inaction “I was too afraid!” or Reaction “Why was this done to me?”)? Which category do most of your regrets fall into and why do you think that is?
  4. Read Luke 22:54-62 together; the story of Peter’s Denial
    1. Of the three categories of regret, Action, Inaction and Reaction, which category do you think Peter finds himself in?
    2. Peter wept bitterly. What do you think was going on inside of his mind when his denial and regret set in?
  5. Read John 21:15-19 together
    1. How do you think Peter felt as he had this conversation with Jesus? Do you think his feelings changed as Jesus repeatedly asked him, “Do you love me?”
    2. Peter went on to be a great leader in the church and remained faithful to the calling he had heard from Jesus during that breakfast around a fire. How do you suppose Peter remembered that breakfast later on in his life?
  6. What do you think you should do with your regrets? How can you break out of the sorry cycle (longing, regret, repeat)?




WHAT’S THE MAIN POINT? I can’t get stuck in my regrets, I need Jesus to break me out of the Sorry Cycle

WORD UP: 2 Corinthians 7:8-11

This is a key Scripture talking about regrets. It is written by Paul (formerly Saul) who could have got really stuck in his regrets as he has a past of killing and persecuting Christians. As you read this Scripture you will see two types of grief, godly grief and worldly grief. Worldly grief gets stuck in the sorry cycle where we dwell on the past, regret the past, and then repeat that endless cycle. The Scripture says that kind of grief leads ultimately to death. Godly sorrow is different. It makes us aware of the past mess-ups but breaks us out of the cycle when we then turn in repentance to Jesus and He beautifully restores us.

Other characters in Scripture who come to mind regarding regret are: Peter and Judas. Peter denied Jesus three times, and his regret almost took him out, but Jesus restored him later (3 times). Judas Iscariot was destroyed by his regret for betraying Jesus and it did ultimately lead to death by suicide.


Here are a few options to help youth wake up to idea of the devotional you are teaching:

  • Use the Milkyway Video from youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dIEr2TZIQ8 … you may want to play it a few times as it’s short. Then talk about all of us having regrets, from silly things to more significant
  • Use a quote from the Starting Over material:
      • Journalist Kathryn Schulz in her popular TED talk: “Regret doesn’t remind us that we did badly. It reminds us that we know we can do better.”
      • Danish philosopher and theologian Soren Keirkegaard (dead old smart guy) once said, “Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.”
  • Mandatory Wakeup – Use video story #1 provided by one of our youth leaders and their regrets found at https://beulahyouth.ca/startingover


  • Everyone, including myself has regrets. Either regrets of Action “I blew it!”, Inaction “I was too afraid!” or Reaction “Why was this done to me?”
  • I can very easily get stuck in the sorry cycle of longing to fix the past and regretting the past, and then repeating that over and over in my mind which leads to death
  • The only way for me to break out of the Sorry Cycle is to actually use my regrets as a wakeup to direct me to the healing found in Jesus through repentance which leads to life


  • Identify the regrets that I have in my life
  • Through prayer, bring my regrets to Jesus
  • Confess any sin that may have come along with what I am regretting
  • Ask Jesus for healing and a new start in my life


  • Check out the Adult Small Group Video that has a small teach and a story: https://youtu.be/kWNTx-XYuHw
  • Pages 3 to 32 of the book “Starting Over” by Dave and Jon Ferguson