Inward Prayer

When speaking on both having sex before marriage and viewing porn, we want to stay away from any sort of “damaged goods” narrative. When we teach people that having sex before marriage or viewing porn will “soil” or “ruin” them to the point of no return, those who have already WILLINGLY or UNWILLINGLY participated in these activities will have a skewed idea of their identity in Christ. We believe in a God who REDEEMS AND RESTORES and we are made a new creation in Him. Rather than teaching sexual PURITY, we want to teach sexual INTEGRITY.

Small Group Questions:

1. 1. Why are emotional boundaries important in dating?
   2. Why are spiritual boundaries important in dating?
   3. Why are physical boundaries important in dating?
   4. How can you communicate and establish these boundaries with your partner?
   5. Why is it crucial to refrain from watching pornography?

Outward Prayer

THE MAIN POINT

It’s crucial to set emotional, physical, and spiritual boundaries in order to “guard your heart.”

THE BIBLE

Proverbs 4:23 (CSB), 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 (CSB)

THE CONTEXT

Establishing boundaries in dating relationships is crucial, serving as a shield for our emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being. We read in Proverbs 4:23 (CSB): “Guard your heart above all else, for it is the source of life.” We need to protect the heart God has given us by setting up safeguards from the harm that can come from dating. Even outside of dating relationships, we must put up safeguards to protect our hearts, bodies, and minds from worldly things that can cause us harm.

We can set up emotional boundaries, when we choose not to divulge too much emotionally to someone we’re not married to, thus safeguarding our hearts from unnecessary hurt. Spiritual boundaries encourage us to keep from diving into intense, private spiritual practices with our partner too early in the relationship, preserving the relationship we have with Jesus apart from our romantic one.

Physical boundaries advocate for saving physical intimacy for marriage as a way to honor our bodies and uphold God’s divine plan for sexuality. We read in 1 Corinthians 6:18-20: Flee sexual immorality! Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the person who is sexually immoral sins against his own body. Don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought at a price. So glorify God with your body.”

We need to acknowledge the harmful effects of pornography and resist self-gratification with immoral images is vital. Porn messes with our perception of genuine intimacy, reducing people to mere objects and fostering addiction. As believers, we’re called to align our actions with God’s teachings on purity and sexual morality, steering clear of these traps. God’s beautiful plan for sexuality is best realized within the commitment of marriage, where true connection flourishes. Engaging with pornography means straying from this divine plan and settling for a counterfeit experience. We are to honor our bodies and relationships by rejecting porn and embracing God’s intended design for sexuality.

A NOTE FOR THE SPEAKER:

When speaking on both having sex before marriage and viewing porn, we want to stay away from any sort of “damaged goods” narrative. When we teach people that having sex before marriage or viewing porn will “soil” or “ruin” them to the point of no return, those who have already WILLINGLY or UNWILLINGLY participated in these activities will have a skewed idea of their identity in Christ. An example of this can be those who have come to faith later in their lives or those who have been sexually assaulted. We believe in a God who REDEEMS AND RESTORES and we are made a new creation in Him. Rather than teaching sexual PURITY, we want to teach sexual INTEGRITY. Hear more about it in this podcast episode: Rethinking Youth Ministry

THE CORE

• When we choose not to divulge too much emotionally to someone we’re not married to, we guard our hearts emotionally. This protects our hearts from unnecessary pain and helps us build a strong emotional foundation for a future spouse.
• We guard our hearts spiritually when we keep our relationships with Jesus distinct from our romantic ones, allowing both to flourish in their own unique ways.
• To honour our bodies and follow God’s plan for sexuality, it’s essential to save physical intimacy for marriage.
• Porn messes with our perception of genuine intimacy, reducing people to mere objects and fostering addiction.
• We are to honor our bodies and relationships by rejecting porn and embracing God’s intended design for sexuality.

THE APPLICATION

As you prepare the application, challenge and/or encouragement, keep in mind these points:

• Set aside a specific time for personal prayer and devotion away from your dating relationship. Use this time to connect with Jesus and reflect on your faith.
• Remember the importance of maintaining your individual life, making decisions independent of your relationship, and finding worth within yourself, regardless of your relationship status.
• Communicate with your dating partner about your commitment to saving physical intimacy for marriage. Discuss and agree on clear physical boundaries to honour your values.
• Commit to staying away from watching pornography.
• Seek accountability from a trusted adult or mentor.