Inward Prayer

Small Group Questions:

1. 1. Why do you think dating is treated so casually? What could this approach to dating lead to?
   2. Why do you think so many people today are focused on finding “the one” in the dating scene? How might this obsession impact their choices in relationships?
   3. How do you interpret the Bible verses mentioned (2 Corinthians 6:14 and Proverbs 31:30) in the context of dating and relationships? What values and principles do these verses highlight?
   4. In your own words, how do you think we “redefine attraction”?
   5. Share some “green flags” you think are important in a potential partner. Why do you consider these qualities to be significant in building a healthy relationship?
   6. Discuss the idea of faith not being a “project” in dating. Why is it important to seek a partner who shares your faith rather than attempting to change someone’s beliefs to fit your own?

Outward Prayer

THE MAIN POINT

There’s no “one perfect person,” for you but rather people better suited for you. Therefore, attraction should go beyond looks, focusing on shared values and faith.

THE BIBLE

2 Corinthians 6:14 (CSB), Proverbs 31:30 (CSB), Exodus 2:20 (CSB)

THE CONTEXT

In today’s dating scene, where everyone seems obsessed with finding “the one,” it’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of romantic ideals. However, before you jump into a relationship and fall in love, you need to ensure you’re on the same page when it comes to values and beliefs. 2 Corinthians 6:14 (CSB) says: “Do not be yoked together with those who do not believe. For what partnership is there between righteousness and lawlessness? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness?” We need to make sure our faith and values align with those we choose to partner up with.

As well, when it comes to picking that person, it’s crucial to think beyond superficial attractions. Proverbs 31:30 (CSB) reminds us of this: “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting.” Yes, it’s essential to find someone you’re physically attracted to, but lasting connections go much deeper. Real attraction is built on shared values, faith, and character.

In today’s fast-paced dating world, it’s easy to get carried away by appearances and charisma, but remember, these can be deceiving. Instead, take a cue from the Bible and REDEFINE attraction. Look for someone who aligns with your core values, someone who shares your faith journey, and someone who exhibits strong character. It’s not about dismissing physical attraction entirely, but about prioritizing the qualities that truly matter in the long run. In this way, you can navigate the modern dating world with wisdom and purpose, seeking a deeper connection that goes beyond the surface.

THE CORE

• It’s important for us to redefine what attracts us to someone. Rather than just focusing on surface-level qualities, let’s ask ourselves if our criteria for attraction are rooted in godly values. Are we drawn to qualities like kindness, humility, and a shared faith? This shift in perspective helps ensure that our relationships align with our Christian beliefs.
• When considering a potential partner, let’s look for those positive signs, the “green flags.” These could include a strong commitment to their faith, a genuine kindness towards others, and honouring their parents. Identifying these green flags can guide us towards healthier and more fulfilling relationships.
• On the flip side, it’s crucial for us to be aware of the warning signs, or the “red flags,” that may indicate potential issues. Trust your instincts if something doesn’t feel right. Red flags could be behaviours that contradict our Christian values, such as dishonesty, disrespect, or a lack of interest in spiritual growth.
• We need to honour our parent’s wishes when it comes to dating. “Honor your father and your mother so that you may have a long life in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.” (Exodus 2:20 CSB) It is a red flag if your boyfriend or girlfriend urges you to disregard these boundaries.
• Faith should never be a project in dating. We shouldn’t engage in a relationship with the goal of “flirting to convert” someone to our beliefs. Instead, seek a partner who already shares our faith and values. Faith should be a shared journey, not a mission to change someone’s beliefs.
• It’s natural to dream about the future when in a relationship, but we should avoid rushing things. Enjoy the present moments and allow the relationship to develop naturally. Rushing into decisions about marriage or other long-term commitments can lead to unnecessary stress and premature choices.
• When facing challenges in a relationship, don’t hesitate to seek guidance from trusted mentors, friends, or a spiritual leader. They can provide valuable insights and help us navigate difficult situations.

THE APPLICATION

As you prepare the application, challenge and/or encouragement, keep in mind these points:

• Make a list of the qualities that are most important to you in a partner, such as kindness, shared faith, and a strong character, and refer to it when considering potential relationships.
• When getting to know someone, ask them about their faith and values, observe their behaviour for signs of kindness and respect. Listen to your gut if something doesn’t feel right.
• If you notice behaviours or attitudes that go against your Christian values, have an open and honest conversation with your partner, and if necessary, seek guidance from a trusted adult or mentor.